You are my sunshine

 

Life is busy and crazy but sometimes a certain song can come on and stop you right in your tracks. Music has a way of taking you on a journey. It can remind you of where you were the very first time you heard that song. You remember every emotion the exact room you were in and who you were with. It can calm you on stressful days or make you cry on happy days. Music is therapy on its own. The ability to close your eyes and be somewhere totally away from what you maybe going through. Today it was a stop in my tracks ball my eyes out moment "You are my sunshine" came on and most days it brings a smile someday like today the tears flood. I remembered those chubby toes. I remembered the day you were born, changing your diaper for the first time. I remembered rocking you with a giant belly. Taking a shower and your tiny fingers under the door. Your smile or the sound of your laugh. I remembered singing "You are my sunshine my only sunshine, You make me happy when sky's are grey, you'll never know dear how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away" and you taking your last breath. I remember not being able to hear that song for years without tears flooding. I remember distancing myself from things that reminded me of you because dealing with reality was too much. Than I remember her, she changed it all. She reminded me that you were up there watching over us. She reminded me that after grey sky's and rain comes a rainbow reminding me of hope. That song I sang when you were born, when I rocked you with my belly, when you left to heaven and now whenever I sing now I will forever think of you sweet boy.