SAHM life

 

  Being a stay at home mom is something I've wanted since the thought of having children came to mind. I would be the fun mom, would have well balanced meals made at all times. My house would look exactly like my Pinterest boards I mean I'm home all day to craft......right?? I would exercise everyday. My children will be so well behaved because I'm always home and here for them. Man life would be just relaxing. I could in vision how much time hubby and I would have to just spend time together. I could not wait to hold the title SAHM (stay at home mom).
  Fast forward to now in a few weeks it will be a year since I've been SAHM. Let me just start by saying boy was I wrong!! This job is HARD!! You have to raise tiny humans, be a good wife, be a chef, doctor, referee, personal shopper, dog walker, uber driver minus the pay, teacher, maid, banker, party planner and business owner and expected to look presentable and sane each day etc. The struggle is so real!!!
  Like any job you have to have consistency make a schedule very vague not concrete because let's be real I'm at home with a 2 year old Monday- Friday and if you met her you know she's a diva to the fullest and sometimes nap time cancels out all other plans. But that's okay!! I use to feel such guilt and frustration if my schedule changed but she's 2 and if she needs a nap mama's not fighting a 2 year old to go run errands I'm rocking that princess to sleep and cuddling with her as she naps. Cuddling is more like being trapped under her and unable to move due to the fear of her waking up. Some may frown upon that say "she's spoiled" or that should be my time to get things done, "she can sleep alone" however I don't tell you how to do your job please don't tell me how to do mine!! She's our last baby and anyone who truly knows me and my family knows how much we prayed for this diva to get here. She was our rainbow baby :) I recently read a high school friends Instagram post and learned what a rainbow baby is. Rainbow baby- baby born following miscarriage or stillbirth. She was the rainbow after the storm so yes I will hold that baby as she sleeps and dishes/laundry or a shower can wait and I'm okay with that.

  My house does not look like the Pinterest boards I have of bedrooms I love or living rooms I love at all. My room is cleanish because let's be real I hate laundry!! I rather throw out and restock than sit and match 300 pairs of socks (might have exaggerated on that number) so I have laundry baskets in my room currently with clean laundry and this dreadful bag called........ "The sock bag". My living room is clean floors mopped, dusting done but toys everywhere. Not visible to the eyes my boys are currently into toy soldiers, cars and Legos so after a battle and all toys are cleaned up you can still find fallen fighters under couches, entertainment center's, book shelves, chairs, tables next to lamps, basically everywhere. I use to have mass anxiety how would I get it all done and still have playtime with my lil diva how would I not go crazy and try to OCD clean make sure everything is in its place. Well I realized over this past almost year lets face it I have 4 kids my house will never look like those magazines with them all small. My house is full of life and memories and laughter I rather have that than a perfectly clean quiet boring house. One day everything will be in its place and all these babies will be grown and gone so I'll cherish random discoveries of Legos or a fallen solider who has decided to hide amongst the dvd's.
  I had this amazing idea that we should have a monthly menu everyday I would cook a different meal that was on the schedule. That lasted maybe 3 days. I do make list of meals we want for the month and do one big grocery trip and get the ingredients to make those meals throughout the month. But honestly some days I'm tired like drained and moms not cooking at all so we're getting pizza, cereal or leftovers. But guess what?? That's okay! Everyone is still eating and I'm not killing myself to feel like a prefect SAHM news flash there isn't one!!
  I love art, love creating something with my babies but sometimes life is just crazy so trying to do that daily was something I wanted and felt like I was failing for lacking to achieve. Once a week or every other week is okay. I incorporate my kids in everything. They help me cook some Sundays my 11 year old will wake up make us breakfast. They all help and have chores. So when we do have time to sit and craft we cherish that so much more.

  I have realized the gym and me are just not meant for each other at this point in time in my life. Maybe one day but today it ain't happening. I do laundry and sweat there's my cardio, I run after a 2 year old who has a make up obsession and mommies new semi-gel matte lipsticks are off limits so chasing her to get them away that would be like me running on a treadmill. So in reality I am saving my family the cost of gym membership. If they had a nap room with a full wine bar I'm about 100% sure I would be a lifetime member. But for now running around with these tiny ones is good enough for this mama. Hubby and I date nights consist of Redbox movie or if empire is on no one talk!! Going to dinner and movies or just out in general is rare and when it does happen we definitely cherish it but when you got 4 kids finding a babysitter who is reliable is so hard to find and who will take all 4 of them. My parents will sometimes watch them but than call an hour into our date to ask when will be back so that doesn't really work out.
  What I've learned this past year is crazy from what I thought this journey would be. Being a stay at home mom I don't have all the answers. My critters are not angels they can fight for no reason and everyone wants to tell me what the other did at the same time. Some days I feel my head will explode with the amount of noise but when they are gone and my house is silent I miss it. I love there stories after school. I love the look on their faces when they help me bake and to see the end result and have them taste whatever it was we made that day and see that glimpse of happiness and the joy they have when they can tell someone else what they made. Being here when a day is bad and not having to wait until I'm home from work to hear about it. Being able to hold them when they are hurt and talk about friends, homework, anything because I'm available. It is hard to not get lost and caught up in what you think a stay at home mom should be and be able to do in a day but the reality is no mom has everything figured out, no mom is perfect, no two kids are alike, some days yoga pants are an outfit, some days eyebrows, lipstick and bronzer are all you got time for, asking for help is okay and so what if you don't get all the laundry or housework done you kept those tiny human alive and happy another day. You are killing the mom game!!! The best/hardest part of being a mommy is figuring it out along the way and knowing no one is perfect just do your best and when you feel like you are failing look at those tiny faces who cherish you and know that the title mommy is the greatest you will ever hold.