Mom life

  Several years ago when I started this blog I had known nothing more than being a working mom. In my mind the thought of actually being able to live out the dream of being a stay at home mom was nothing more than just a dream. It seemed so farfetched it would never be my reality until like most things in life my world was shaken and I was fired than tada immediate stay at home mom. Of course my husband being the most amazing man saw me being fired as my dream being answered and encouraged me to stay home. But I honestly was not prepared.
 The title; "Stay at home mom wtf am I doing?" Was exaclty how I felt. No one prepares you for the 24 hour non-stop calling of your name, you still being available for sexy time with the hubs while exhausted for these tiny humans and the endless amounts of laundry or the fact everyone is always hungry dirtying your barely washed dishes yet again and WHY are they always fighting with eachother?? I don't get it! Corporate America and micromanaging bosses are one thing but 4 children relying on you to be there support system, chef, maid, hair dresser, driver, teacher, nurse aka mama are entire other ball game.
 I'm now 3 years into this SAHM life I would love to say I cracked the code and it's so simple, that I have choir charts my kids follow without fighting or I've managed to declutter and reorganize my entire house including their rooms, that the garden I've planned on growing is producing our veggies and fruit, or they all go to bed on time have perfect grades and never disrespect me but none of that is true at all! The truth is after year 1 of doubting myself as a mother constantly asking "Am I messing them up?" followed by year 2 "This is so hard! Should I go back to work?" And now year 3 "I'm doing my best".

 When did we as mother's (speaking for myself) decide we had to live up to such high expectations? When and why do we have this imagine of perfection and if we don't strive to achieve it for instance my entire house being spotless and that doesn't ever happen ( I mean I have 4 tiny humans that may never happen ever) than we assume we have failed? I've learned messy rooms have doors shut them! There messy rooms drive me crazy but is it really hurting? Like if there clothes are on the closet floor rather than being hung up and I've screamed 5,000 times at them does that make my home, me or my kids happy? No! If my kitchen is not spotless will my entire world stop? No! If my bed is not constantly made and that one pile of laundry that always ends up on the chair or in my case the toddler bed in the corner is not folded or hung up will it harm my childrens future? No! If we eat out because I've been up since 4am being supermom taking care of a sick child and I'm zombing it through the rest of the day and we order food am I failing at mom life? No! Date night was on the couch again because we have no sitter and honestly putting on real clothes and dealing with people is not in the cards for me, is my marriage in trouble? No!

Mom life working or staying at home is hard! No one prepares you for these crazy wild, emotionally filled tiny humans. One minute they love you, next they are fighting with a sibling and rolling their eyes at you testing the tiny bit of patience you have. But mom life isn't about perfection it's about making sure those tiny humans know they are amazing, they capable of greatness that sometimes mom has to sneak off to girls night or bestie weekends to pamper herself and stay sane because when I'm happy and healthy mama I can be better for them, showing them by example that I'm not perfect because no one is but set goals, dream than dream bigger, don't stop because you fail (like my fail at snickerdoodle cookies smh) just try again, you are unique and wild but that's an amazing gift only you have. I don't have all the answers as they get older challenges change but if you're a mama and love your kids and people complement you on how awesome your kids are you're doing something amazing so stop with the mom guilt and self doubt or asking yourself wtf am I doing? Because the truth is you're raising tiny epic humans to one day being Epic Adults! You got this!!