No instructions

  It's been a month since I've been home full-time. My kiddos are happier than ever. It's been definitely a learning process. If one were to ask if I believe I'm a good mother previously I would say "yes of course". Now I know I have flaws and I'm literally winging it.
  It amazes me how whatever new product you buy, new toaster, coffeemaker or a new hair dryer they all have the same thing in common.......instructions! Each and everyone of them have a step by step how to use it, a number to call for a warranty and a help number for customer service. Being a parent doesn't.
  Being a parent, a stay at home one or one who works we are all constantly multitasking. We are continously pulled in a number of different directions, we worry about bills, food, house, friends or kids. We are expected to know what to do based on examples given by others but no one truly prepares you for parenthood. You try as a child to grasp whatever examples are given to you and as an adult you kind of have to test them out. Do you spend how your parents spent money? Do you love your loved ones the way they loved you? But it's all truly winging it.
  Everyday is different, every child I have is different, not one personality is the same. They all learn differently, play interact, speak and love differently. One enjoys reading than explaining exactly what she read after to you. One loves everyone and questions everything so he can learn fully what you are talking about. One is a ninja or policeman or whatever his imagination takes him to at the time and is eager to learn new things. One is a tiny sassy sponge who watches everyone and is a little like all of them.
  There is no help number when one is being crazy or a mess. No warranty when one gets hurt or sick at the er at 3am. There is no step by step directions on how to parent each of them. However this job is the most important, amazing job I will ever have. Don't get me wrong it's not easy at all. There are days when hiding out in a fort in my room seems like a great option. Days when everyone is fighting and arguing and all I want to do is lay down and sleep not be today's referee. Days when being a crazy woman and losing my cool becomes a reality than it ends in me having to explain acting like a crazy person is not the thing to do.
  I think after being home for a month with these guys has truly taught me no one has it all together. I'm just keep trying to wing it to the best of my ability.